I could feel change coming but I wanted to deny it. I wanted to fight it.
I am not one who can be JUST content. I need to be happy or whatever I’m doing doesn’t work for me. Recently, the job I loved became the job I couldn’t wait to leave. It became what I dreaded. On my days off I was miserable because I had to go back to work the next day. Maybe I was overreacting, but I am a sensitive person and ultimately I didn’t enjoy my job. I think what made it harder is that instead of just getting irritated with a mediocre job, I came to resent a job I once enjoyed so much. That sucked.
It finally got to a point where I was so tempted to drive away and never go back when I was on my breaks, I wanted to call out EVERY day. This is my favorite time of year and I was miserable! Finally, I had to make an uncomfortable shift. I quit. I left the job I once felt comfortable at and thought I would be at through college. So I sit here, two weeks before Christmas (thankfully all of my shopping is done) and I have no clue where to start. What I want to do next?
How do you find a job that makes you as happy as the first one originally did? Should I just focus on school so I can graduate faster? What about the trips we had planned for 2020? Do I finally try to start my own small business? Where do I go from here?
I am putting my happiness and mental health first. I know that I can apply to most of the jobs around me that are entry-level and I’ll get it, but I don’t want just ANY job. I want happiness. So I’m focusing on encouraging this restart. I’m reading, I’m writing, I’m working out, and I’m relaxing. Maybe if I focus on my mental and physical health and putting good vibes out, something amazing will come my way.
The book I’m currently reading, and loving:
I have been absolutely loving this book. I’m not even half-way through but it makes me truly feel like this is how life is supposed to be. It reminds me that with calm comes chaos. I highlight parts that I want to be able to go back and read again. One of the sentences I highlighted says, “…if changing games does not work, you can invent a new one.” If our life is not going as plan, change it. If doing what everyone else is telling us to do isn’t working, try something new. If my job isn’t working out, create my own.
I don’t have a nice journal, but I’m part of a Facebook group where we have journal prompts weekly, and we have daily workouts. It’s the Sculpt Squad. I recommend it to every female. If you have an instagram, follow @Collegecleaneatng (https://www.instagram.com/collegecleaneating/)
She offers guided yoga, a book club, workouts, recipes, and so much more! I love it.
So, yes, I am uncomfortable, I’m not always happy, and I’m nervous. What do I want next? The answer may not be clear, but life has a way of working. If I can continue bettering myself with journaling, meditation, being with nature, and focusing on positive thinking and my overall health, I will achieve something great and you will to.
As always, thank you for the support. Let me know what content you want me to write about. I’m open to any and all topic suggestions!
Much love, stay positive, and encourage the unknown!