The older I have gotten the more of a low maintenance friend I have become. I don’t require a lot of attention. My boyfriend is also a low maintenance friend. I assume it’s because we’re best friends to each other and for us that’s enough attention. That doesn’t mean we don’t have or need other friends. But I am a full-time student, and up until recently worked a full-time job, as well as caring for my three dogs, having a serious relationship, and having anxiety. All of these factors make it very difficult for me to make time for other people. So how do I maintain my friendships?
Well, lucky for me, my friends don’t require a lot from me. My best friend has plenty of other friends who love to be social and have group gatherings, therefore, we will grab dinner or talk on the phone when we can. For my other friends, I’ll make a reminder for myself to message them because it is very easy for me to get caught up in a routine and things I want to get done. I can easily be anti-social. So when I do make plans, I make sure I follow through with them because I don’t make plans often.
So how can you make time for friendships?
The easiest way for me to see everyone is having one large group gathering every season. Not everyone can make it, but I consistently invite the same people and they realize that I haven’t forgotten about them. It also shows them that I want to see them, and sometimes that’s enough for a while.
Schedule a dinner ahead of time. For example, my sister, my mom, and two of my sister-in-laws, and I make it a point to schedule one dinner every month. We are all so busy but we enjoy each others company so we plan a dinner 2 weeks to a month ahead of time. Sometimes we all make it and sometimes there’s only three of us but that’s okay because at the end of the dinner we schedule for the next one. We know that sometimes all of us having off is just not realistic, so those who have a changing schedule request off, some of us share our calender’s, and some of us have a set schedule. We do the best we can.
Phone calls. I think one of my favorite things about my best friend, is that she calls me spontaneously. It’s sweet because while I’m caught up in my own world, she’s thinking of me. We usually don’t plan ahead, but I’m willing to set certain things aside like cleaning and the gym just to see her. When it comes to homework, she understands.
A big way I remind a lot of my friends that I care is just by messaging them here and there. I’ll comment on their Snap Chat story or their Instagram post. Just so they know I adore them. I also have friends that will meet up and have study session during the semester. Although, often it ends up not being so much studying as us just talking and laughing, but it’s so fun and it takes a lot of stress off when I am able to laugh with people I care about.
We are all busy, but I do my best to make time for people. As I said, I am lucky to have friends who are so understanding. Ultimately, we’re all pretty busy so we know how stressful life can get.
It’s important to remember that life can be a lot easier to navigate when you have a few genuine friends that support you.
As always, thanks for reading and I love your feedback! This was a topic requested by one of my friends and I was happy to write about it. Feel free to email me or comment with any requests!