In my last blog I talked about my decision to come off antidepressants for the first time in 2 years. I also discussed how it immediately affected me. In week 2 and 3 I expected some different reactions. I figured my body would start adjusting to the new normal for me, but I also figured that would mean some mood swings and learning new techniques to handle my emotions.
Week 2: I started to notice I was no longer nauseous and dizzy. I wasn’t more anxious, but I was definitely more moody. I would get overwhelmed and frustrated quickly. Week 3 felt the same as week 2 – constant anger.
My emotions felt stronger than ever. I didn’t feel happier. I felt anger a lot stronger and more often. I got angry over really small things but in my head it was justified. I knew that this might not be something I would get angry about before, but I was angry now and in my head it made sense as to why I was angry. I was constantly angry and snippy. I was almost always in a bad mood. I’m also working two busy jobs that can be very demanding at times. Although, I love my two jobs, it was really hard not having an antidepressant to help me maintain my chemical imbalance. If I got overwhelmed I immediately felt resentful.
I was not a fun person to be around. That made me feel even worse, just knowing that I wouldn’t want to be around myself and I didn’t enjoy being me. I wasn’t happy, ever. I was trying so many things to help my mood, working out, doing yoga, planning, I was sleeping well, but nothing was working.
Week 4 remained the same, and I finally decided to go back onto my antidepressants because I could see my bad mood affecting the people around me and it was creating tension that ultimately made everything worse.
Thank goodness I did because I can’t imagine what I would be like without them because now in addition to working two jobs, we’re looking for our first house. My anxiety is pretty bad and my sleep is worse, but antidepressants help me stay positive and balanced. I don’t rely on antidepressants themselves, I know that if I work on myself as well my life will be better. But, they help create a balance in my brain and that helps me in becoming my best self. I have limited control on the chemicals in my brain and sometimes no matter how hard we try we can’t maintain them ourselves. Using antidepressants for assistance is not something to be ashamed of. Of course, ask a psychiatrist for help. Often, family doctors can only prescribe the minimum dose. Psychiatrist specialize in these things.
If you have any questions about my journey with therapy or antidepressants just leave a comment below!
Thank you for following me along my journey and I’ll be posting again soon! I’m hoping to get back on a schedule of posting once we move into our new home!