I’m pretty sure this journey to self discovery is never ending, which is totally fine. I just feel completely lost. I feel like I’ve been trying to find myself for a couple of years now, and I’m still as lost as I was two years ago. Now, not your typical, “I’m constantly growing and changing” type of getting to know myself, I just don’t know what I like and don’t like. I don’t know how to describe myself if I had to. I don’t know what I like about myself or what I don’t like about myself.
I want to bring you all on this journey with me. Soon, my boyfriend and I are buying a house. I’m thrilled because I feel like I’ll finally be able to be myself.
I grew up in a very old fashioned household. I feel like I can’t wear a lot of different clothes. I can’t do a lot of things without feeling judged. It’s a weird standard in my life. Having an old fashioned parent when I believe in not judging people and allowing people to wear whatever. I don’t mind if you don’t wear a bra, if you wear sports bras in the gym, if you post photos in bikinis or embrace your short shorts. I feel like if I wore a sports bra even in my house I would be uncomfortable. Or a crop top.
I’ve always felt restricted to being myself. I just feel like it’s time to break away and find myself. Mind you, my boyfriend and I would’ve moved out a while ago, but we can’t rent anything because we have three precious doggos.
Sometimes it’s hard to put my truth online because of family members reading this and reporting it back to my parents. But this is my life, this is my truth, and I’m sharing it in hopes of helping others and sharing my journey.
If you follow my Instagram @Ellianabrit, you’ll be able to follow my journey daily.
Once we move, I think I’ll be finding myself truly. I’ll be on the journey to self discovery and self-love. I’ll be wearing new clothes, trying new styles. Until then, I’ll be journaling my heart out, sweating out my insecurities, and practicing self-care like a maniac.
This post is the start of a new blog series for me! So, stay tuned!
Much love! Stay safe! And remember, you matter.