I know, I said I would post before Christmas, but then work got busy and my mental health took a dive after Christmas, but here I am! Finally.
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday and a happy new year!
Around this time last year I reflected on the previous year and listed my goals for the year ahead. I had SO many goals, which is totally fine. I see some people make a few goals, some make a single goal, some people go with a word like relax, play, boundaries, etc. Whatever makes you excited and makes you feel good. I don’t like telling people what’s good for them because we’re all different.
This year I didn’t necessarily make a resolution. I’m not a big new years person and I never have been. Although, I do love seeing people chase their dreams and work towards something, and I love that energy around New Years.
Last year, I wrote about how I didn’t feel like I grew. I achieved some great things in 2019, but I didn’t feel good about me. I didn’t feel like I grew as a person because my achievements showed me things I already knew about myself. I wanted to make sure I didn’t feel that way at the end of 2020.
Before I dive into reflecting on my 2020, I want to remind you that 2020 was a crazy year, and if all you could do was take it day by day, moment by moment, then you did great. Everyone has different circumstances.
My biggest achievement in 2020 was that we bought a house.
I went from getting 12 hours every two weeks because of Covid to working two jobs over the summer and saving up enough to buy a house within three months with the help of my boyfriend. Whenever we had talked about moving, we just didn’t see it being achievable within the next year, but when we really put our minds to it, we made it work within three months. Mind you, we were very fortunate to have good jobs. My job picked up over the summer to nearly full-time and I was working a part-time job as well.
I lost my second grandmother. My mom-mom had already passed a while ago, but I lost my mimi in the spring and we couldn’t have a funeral.
I dealt with a lot of trauma and anxiety in 2020 with family things. That was ultimately what drove me to buy a house, I no longer had the option to wait because if we kept waiting it would have been detrimental to my mental health.
In the very beginning of 2020 I got a job I was excited for, I had NO idea what to expect. It got really hard for the company in the spring due to Covid, but it really has picked up since and I’m now doing more than I ever thought I would and I love my job. I really do.
I learned to set new boundaries for my mental health. That’s still a work on progress, but setting boundaries can be so difficult so I’m proud of myself.
I made YouTube videos which was WAY out of my comfort zone. I let them stay up for months but I deleted them a few weeks ago because I just did not feel like I had time for YouTube nor do I have ideas for YouTube. I also made an Instagram page, and although I haven’t been on it, I got to meet some cool people and push out of my comfort zone.
I gained some weight, and I’m okay with it! It’s hard to accept that some of my clothes don’t fit because I’ve been the same size for most of my life, but you won’t stay the same size you were in high school. You might, but there are so many things that change in your body and that’s totally okay. I’m working on loving myself because I know there is nothing wrong with gaining weight, although society has said otherwise for a long time which is why it can be difficult to feel worthy, but we’re all worthy regardless of our weight or shape.
I’ve blogged a lot more. I wanted to be even more consistent than I was but I did post quite a few posts and I’m proud of myself! I can’t always think of something to write about and I don’t want to give any half assed post. So when I post I try to make sure it’s something I feel good about.
We got two cats to add to our animal family. I have never had a cat, but I have ALWAYS had at least one dog. So adopting a cat that wasn’t fixed yet and had some health issues was stressful, but we overcame the challenges and I’m so glad we did because we adore our cats now.
I’m sure I could reflect a lot more on 2020, but I am incredibly proud of myself for any improvement or any challenge that I overcame. 2020 had a lot out factors that added onto the struggles of daily life. Tearing yourself down is never beneficial. Reflect, accept, learn, and build yourself up. Learn from your downfalls and shortcomings, they’re part of your story and your challenges help create a wiser you. I hope you all have an amazing 2021. I can’t wait to blog this year!